Self-Actualization

When I was 15, it fell upon me to make roti for dinner. It seemed a little odd, but apparently, in Islam, you get sawab to feed the hungry.

So, I made my peace with that conventional desi stereotype. Now I wouldn't call it learning a life skill precisely, because if it were, making my own roti would have sufficed. Anyhow, moving back to 15 years ago exactly, I made roti. The situation would have merited the exclamation ‘Phew’ had I not been told that a good roti has to be light and soft as a feather, and more importantly, it has to be round.

Now, this was too much. Feeding the hungry shouldn't come with so many conditions. After all, charity is charity. Something to make us feel better about ourselves, not be a pain in the neck, right? But trying to be a good daughter, I obliged and tried harder. After all, that’s what young girls are supposed to do.

Nonetheless, in my struggle of making the roti round, I learned about this trope of gol roti equals good girl: an able, and dexterous girl, the infamous rishta material. That was it for me, but I still tried making my rotis round because my mom wanted me to. But to no avail. I researched it on Google and even that didn't work. Can you believe it? People can become health experts, scientists and God knows what. Yet I couldn't become an expert in round roti despite extensive gol roti research.

Gradually, I started getting roti-shamed and word got around. I was officially a bad roti-maker. But then one day I realized that maybe I was not here to make gol roti like everyone else. Maybe I was here to lead a rebellion of all the trapezium, parallelogram, triangle, and square roti-making girls. And with that epiphany, I stopped trying.

After all, it’s good to get out of the box, even when it’s a circle, and follow your calling. I have embraced myself for who I am. And become as light as a feather, the usual feeling that comes with acceptance. So, my rotis might not be as light as a feather or a flower, but my heart filled with self-actualization is. At least I got to lighten one thing up, and I count it as my success story.